i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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