How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
