You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
