the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm bleeding and have questions
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
