Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
