I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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