they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Randomize
