if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
