Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
