you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
soo... how was my night?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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