I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
