This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
