I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
