I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
