are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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