i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
