Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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