Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
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Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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