All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
