Umm I'm too high to move.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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