the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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