a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
