kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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