Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
