Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
