I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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