Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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