Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
