why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
