i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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