anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
