drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
