He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
