I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
