We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
