So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
