I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
