I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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