Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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