I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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