I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
