I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
