My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
