I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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