Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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