Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize