Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
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Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
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I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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