I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
