guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
