New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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