For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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