Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
