clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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