don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
