Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
