where am i from again
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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