brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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