i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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