Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
