I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
