need another drink. this is the easiest way
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
