Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
