have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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