Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
